Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Posted by Unknown |

I've been gyming for almost a month now.

OMG fuck. I know.

I'd like to think my legs are the making of the robust pistons of steel they were always meant to be. In truth they still seem to be pliable plastercine pillars.

Either way, I have found myself a routine. A fragile routine, to be fair. For if it breaks, that's it. I have carved out a 45 minute gym slot every second day and blindly go, for fear of it breaking and never going again.

To the point where I buggered up my foot last week. That might be because I run like an ostrich, but whatever.

The point is, I'm fucking proud of myself. If I can say so myself.

One of the reasons I'm actually bothering with this whole fitness rigmarole isn't only because I want skinny arms in my wedding dress.

(Although all brides say that, don't they.)

But seriously. The larger, more longterm reason why I am exercising like a steroid-infused gerbil after too many goji berries, is because I need the fucking endorphins.

It's that part of winter - the part where people turn corners and become suicidal - where snow storms blow down from Russia resulting in mornings like today that have maximums of -5. If I don't exercise and get my blood flowing, winter is going to beat me.

It's fucking freezing and it's darker than a boogieman's anal passage.

Yeah. That dark.

So in order to keep to my promise of embracing this winter, my third full one in the UK, I will need to pump as many of those little happy hormones into my brain, by any means possible. Without having to hook myself up to a drip filled with pure MDMA that trails behind me wherever I go.

Running, apparently, makes people happy. Less frustrated. Less depressed. Less inclined to feel guilty about the food I'm smashing in my face too.

Also quite like the sweating part, if I'm honest. I feel like I am purging all the bad stuff I'm eating...through my pores. Even if this isn't true, psychologically speaking? Running and bench pressing giant dumb bells of steel is definitely helping.

I wonder how long it will take to look like Megan Fox?

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