best mates or

.....

Crisis.

Dwayne is pregnant.

Watching them yesterday, and saw Dwayne looked rather bulbous.

Turns out, Dwayne has a vagina.

And they've been humping each other senseless.

Fuck.

So. We are going back to the bloody pet shop tonight, and demanding a refund. With interest. I mean, how's that for return on investment?

"Herewith your cash cow. Who is up the duff. Can I have a boy now please?"

Devastated, as Dwaynetta has such beautiful and unique squirrel-like colouring.

Seven shades of shit, and schoolboy error number 1: Get the vermin properly sexed by a vet. Because it turns out even if it looks like a penis, it's actually not.

I'm sad. I cried buckets last night. What the fuck.